Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Randomize
