I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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