Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
