Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
