I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
