adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
