its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
