I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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