hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
