Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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