if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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