If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You smell like stripper and shame
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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