conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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