Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
