I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
