Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
