I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
