nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
