haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
