You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
