Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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