i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Randomize
