I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
