Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize