i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
