What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just threw up on my dentist
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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