You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
