I feel great
I just peed on a car
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
