Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
operation have a gay friend backfired
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He keeps bees of course he's weird
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
