so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
