Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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