I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
