shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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