at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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