Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
