This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
