you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
