Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize