it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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