He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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