therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we're chasing vodka with high fives
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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