just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
