Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
