enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
