Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
My life is pants optional.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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