My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
