I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I smell stomach acid.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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