Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
