I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
