You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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